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Thursday, 2 March 2017

Hidden Gender

 We walked in to Kyle's bedroom holding hands as we sat down on

the edge of Kyle's bed. We starred in to each others eyes as we

locked our lips together. I could feel Kyle's hot breath as he

kissed me passionately. My heart was racing like a race horse.

My hormones where running wild as I held Kyle tightly in my

arms. I have to admit Kyle was hot as hell, and I was the

luckiest guy on the face of the earth.

Kyle and I first met back in middle school. I was one grade

below Kyle. One day I was just standing by the door's when Kyle

came over asked me if I wanted to play catch with him. Of

course I said yes. If there was one thing that my mom always

taught me was that you never let a hot guy out of your sight

when he asks you to play catch with him.

In some strange way I always had this feeling that my parents

knew that I had strong feelings for Kyle. Either way I didn't

really care if they knew or didn't know. All I know was that I

was madly in love with Kyle despite our age difference.

Kyle would call me every night, once he was done eating dinner

with his family. We would spend hours talking on the phone, we

would even quietly having phone sex so our parents wouldn't

hear us talking dirty with each other.

I heard my mom coming up the stairs. I quickly pulled the

phone away from my ear and listen to hear if she was coming

towards my bedroom door. The last thing I wanted to have happen

was my mom catching me having phone sex with a boy I really

liked. The risk was more then I could bare, so I told Kyle I

would call him back once my mom was out of ear shot of my

bedroom door.

Once my mom was out of ear shot of my bedroom door, I quickly

grabbed my cell phone off my bed. I sent Kyle a quick text

message that said coast is clear. My phone rang a second after

I sent the text message to Kyle.

“, Hey baby, I said.”

“, Hey hot stuff, how are you doing, Kyle replied.”

“, I'm doing good thanks, how are you doing.”

“, Not to bad.”

“, So what are you doing tomorrow night, I asked.”

“, I might just stay home and play video game's, why do you

ask, Kyle replied.”

“, wanna go to the movies tomorrow night.”

“, sure, it beats staying home and playing video games.”

“, cool, I replied.”

Kyle and I hung up after talking on the phone for 3 hours and

our cell phones where about ready to die. I had 1 bar left on

my cell and it was just enough to send Kyle one last text

message good night.

I plug my cell phone in, so it could charge over night while i

was sleeping. I tossed and turned for several minutes I finally

sat up took a drink of water before lying back down. My mind

was racing and I kept thinking about my secret I was hiding

from Kyle. It wasn't anything bad, I just don't wanna creep him

out or anything like that.

My parents always kept me out gym class and from swimming

lessons because my gender is unknown. I shouldn't say my gender

isn't known, because in all honesty I have both male and

female part's. I just haven't picked which sex I want to be yet

because I honestly don't know which sex I prefer yet.

I woke up bright and early the next morning. I jumped in the

shower, then headed down stairs to make myself something to eat

for breakfast. I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket and

sent Kyle a text message, that said meet me at Gage park by the

play ground.

Kyle responded back a few minutes later, saying okay see you

shortly. I must be out of my mind, but this was something I had

to do and Kyle needed to know the truth about me. I started

getting ready, when my dad came down stairs.

“, hey big guy, do you want a ride to school today, my dad

asked.”

“, it's okay dad, think I'm going to walk to school today, I

replied.”

“, Okay straight to school, your mother and I don't want

another phone call from your teacher again, got it.”

“, got it dad.”

I started walking towards Gage Park to meet up with Kyle. As I

was walking I kept thinking about how i was going to break the

news to Kyle that I was a transgender youth who had basically

both male and female parts. This was not going to be the

easiest thing for me to do, but I had to tell him before he

found out from someone else.

My cell phone beeped 2 times. I reached in to my pocket and

pulled out my cell phone. Kyle had sent me a text message that

read over by the band shell, where are you at. I replied back

and told Kyle that I was a block away from the park and that I

would be there in a 6 minutes give or take the traffic lights.

Kyle wrote back a second later saying cool.

The moment had come, there was no backing out now. I had to

tell Kyle face to face about my secret I had been hiding from

him this whole time.

“, Good morning Kyle, I said.”

“, Good morning, Cody. So what's up, Kyle replied.”

“, Kyle there is something I need to tell you about me.”

“, Okay, what is it Cody. Just tell me, Kyle replied.”

“, Alright, Kyle you how some people are born with both male

and female parts, I said.”

“, Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything Cody, Kyle

asked.”

“, Look Kyle I'm a male, who was born with female parts.”

Kyle moved away from me once I told that I was a transgender

male who was born with female parts. Kyle and I sat on the band

shell for a couple minutes either of us said a word to each

other. I guess it was a good sign that Kyle didn't get up and

walk away he just sat there with his head down.

“, Kyle, I said.”

“, what is it Cody, Kyle replied.”

“, Are you okay, I asked.”

“, I don't know dude, I just need some time figure things

out.”

Kyle jumped off the band shell and started walking away. All I

could do was watch Kyle walk away. I reached in to my pocket

and grabbed my cell phone. I sent Kyle a text asking him if we

where still dating. Kyle never answered my text.

For the first time in my life I actually felt like I was alone

with no one to turn too. Kyle was the only boy I had ever

fallen in love with.

*
A whole month had passed before I heard anything from Kyle

again. I woke up just before 7 in the morning when my cell

phone rang. I grabbed it off of the night stand that was beside

my bed to see who had just called me. When I looked at my phone

I noticed I had 2 texted messages one was from my parents and

the other was from Kyle. The from my Parents read Cody your mom

and I will be home late don't wait up. For some reason I was a

little hesitant about opening Kyle's message. I walked to down

to the hall and hopped in to the shower to get cleaned up. I

brushed my teeth then headed down stairs to grab some

breakfast.

I reached in to my pocket to grab my cell phone. I realized

that I had left it sitting on my night stand beside my bed. I

ran back up stairs to grab my cell phone. Something in my head

told me to leave my phone at home. I turned around and

went back down stairs grabbed my back pack and headed off

to school.

When I arrived at school, Kyle was standing by the door. I

walked by him and didn't say a word to him. I got a few steps

inside the door when I herd Kyle call out my name.

“, Sam can I walked to you.”

“, What the hell for Kyle, I said.”
“, Look I haven't been able to sleep the last couple of night's

since I walked off on you, Kyle said.”

“, fine I'll meet you over by the wall at break time, I said.”

“, Sam I don't understand why we can't just go somewhere and

talk right now, Kyle said.”

“, For starters I have a class to get too, and secondly I'm not

interested in talking to you at the moment.”

I walked down the hall to my first class. I looked back and

Kyle was just standing there shaking his head. I took my seat

towards the back of the class. Kyle walked in to the class room

right behind the teacher. Kyle sat in front of me. He turned

around and flash me a dirty look. So I flash him a dirty look

back.

“, Dude why are acting like this, Kyle asked.”

“, acting like what Kyle, you started it when you walked away

from me at Gage Park, I replied.”

“, How did I start it, when you kept your secret from me the

whole we were dating, Kyle said.”

“, I think that's the first honest thing you have said to me

since you walked away from me that afternoon Kyle, I said.”
*
The bell rang and I grabbed my book's when Mr. White stopped

me before I could walk out the door. I stood there waiting for

the other students to all leave the class room. Funny thing is

Kyle was also stopped by Mr. White and told to stay after class

so he could talk to us about something.

“, Is this your doing again Sam, Kyle asked.”

“, fuck no. Why would I get Mr. White involved in our

problem's, I said.”

“, I don't know, maybe because your a teachers pet, Kyle

replied crossing his arms.”

“, what ever Kyle, I replied.”

Mr. White closed the door and then walked over to where Kyle

and I were sitting. He put his leg on one of the chair's. Mr.

White was clearly having trouble with getting something off his

chest and it showed in his facial expression.

“, Alright boys I want you both to listen to me vary closely,

said Mr. White.”

I nodded my head while Kyle just sat there with his head down

on his desk.

“, Look I'm not going to sit here and act like I don't know

when two of my favourite students in this school are at odds

with one other.”

“, It's not that we are at odds with each other. We are just

having some problems that Sam and I seem to be unable to solve

like human beings, Kyle said.”

“, is that true Sam, Mr. White asked.”

I really didn't want to answer Mr. White's question. But some

how the words just slipped out of my mouth.

“, no that's not true sir, I replied.”

“, Alright then what is the truth then, Mr. White asked.”

“, Yeah! Sam what is the honest truth, Kyle said.”

I let out deep breath, and ran my hands through my hair, while

I thought about how to explain my secret to Mr. White. For the

second time in 10 days I found myself in the hot seat yet again

only this time it was in Mr. White's computer class.

“, Sir you know how you and Kyle where born with just one sex,

I said.”

“, yes.”

“, while sir, you see I was born with while both male and

female part's. I don't really have a specific gender that I

identify with, Sam said.”

“, Alright is this what's causing all the problem's between you

two, asked Mr. White.”

“, Yes that is just one part of the problem Mr. White what Sam

didn't tell you is that he kept his condition from me, Kyle

said angrily.”

“, Here is what I think need's to happen. The both of you need

to stop acting like little kids first of all. Secondly I don't

understand how Sam's being transgender even effects you Kyle,

Mr. White said.”

“, well to me it does when I'm Sam's boyfriend, Kyle

said.”

“, Since when did you care if I was transgender or not. I could

told you I was female and you wouldn't have thought twice about

walking away.”

“, your right Sam, I don't care. The only reason why I don't

care is because I'm gay alright. I don't like girl's I never

have and I never will like girls, said Kyle.”

From that point on Kyle and I never spoke too one another ever

again. We would pass each other in the hall's with out making

any eye contact with each other. Since Kyle hooked up with

another guy, who ended up infecting him with the HIV virus. As

for myself I ended up getting surgery to become a male. I now

currently have a girlfriend who is expecting our first child

any day now.

If there is one thing that I hope everyone takes from this, is

don't be afraid to tell people about who you are. It's doesn't

matter if your transgender like I'm. Or if your gay, bi,

straight, it really shouldn't matter. All that matter's is

people should like you for who you are and not for what they

think you are. Because those are the people who truly care

about you.