Wednesday, 12 April 2017

A home away from home

In the summer of 2004 my friend Jamie Woof and I where

sitting on my front porch drinking whiskey and smoking a really

nice cigar. The weather had been warm. It had been a while

since Jamie and I had a chance to just kick back and shoot the

breeze with one another. Since we both graduated from high

school back in May of this year Jamie and I had barely had time

to talk to each other. Jamie got a job at our city Bank as a

teller and I ended up working with my dad over at the brick

factory, where there is little to no chance of moving up the

ladder, unless your sleeping with someone in the office.

There where a few clouds in the sky, but nothing that could

really get Jamie and I to move our little party inside. We sat

on the porch smoking our cigars and drinking whiskey that my

mom kept under the sink for many years. It had aged just enough

to give you a good head shake when you took your first couple

of sips. But once your taste buds got use to it the whiskey

went down as smooth as 20 year old glass of scotch.

, well my friend, I should be hitting the road, have to work

in the am, Jamie said.”

, since when was the bank open on a Sunday, I asked.”

, Since last month, I mean it's not as busy as a week day, but

a couple of people come in to do their banking, Jamie replied.”

, that's cool, I guess, I said.”

I got up and took Jamie's glass in to the kitchen. I poured

me another glass of whiskey while Jamie was on the porch trying

to re lite his cigar. I went to the bathroom while I was in the

house. I really didn't want to go back outside then have to

come back in again. While I was in the washroom I heard the

front door open then close again. I didn't give it much thought

I figured Jamie had opened the door to lite his cigar.

, Where the hell is my purse, my mom yelled.”

, I don't know mom. Did you take it up to your room with you,

I asked.”

, why would I take my purse to my room with me. I always leave

right here on the chair by the door, she said.”

, Look mom, I'am not going to do this with you right now while

Jamie is here. So in the mean time, why don't you go check your

room and see if your purse is there. If it's not there then

I'll help you look for it, sound good to you, I replied.”

I shook my head as I step out on to the front porch. Jamie

was standing on the bottom step just looking down the street. I

stood there for second just looking around to see if I could

find my moms purse that she climes Jamie stole from the chair

in the family room. There was sign of my mom's purse anywhere

that I could see and Jamie had everything that he came over


, Dude I hate to ask you this, but by any chance did you see

my mom's purse anywhere when you came in the house, I asked.”

, really man, are you asking me what I think you are asking

me, Jamie replied.”

, No I would never accuse you of steeling anything, I was just


Jamie stood there and flashed me a dirty look. Not only did

my mom just cost me a friend. Maybe one of the coolest friends

I ever hung around.

, I don't have to put up with this bull shit, I'am outta


I went back inside the house and went up to my moms room

where she was sitting on her bed going through her purse. I

stood in the doorway just watching her. She looked up at me

with a smile as if nothing was wrong. The only thing I could

think about at that time was how much I just wanted to take a

pillow and hold over her face, until she died.

, is something wrong honey, my mom asked.”

, depends, I replied.”

, Where's Jamie.”

, Jamie went home mom all because you had me accuse him of
steeling your purse, remember I replied.”

,I never asked you to accuse him of steeling my purse. I asked

to ask him if he had seen my purse, my mom said.”

Either way I remember what my mom had asked to ask my

friend Jamie. She never once asked to ask him if he had seen

her purse sitting on the chair in the family room. No she asked

me to accuse him of steeling her purse point blank right to his

face. I went to my room and closed the door behind me. I

reached over and picked up my phone and started dialing Jamie's

phone number.

I stopped myself before pressing the number 9 and hung up

my phone quickly. I wasn't what I was going to say. So I wrote

it all out the back of our plans that we had made to rob the

bank. I picked up the phone once again and started dialing

Jamie's number again. The phone rang several times before Jamie


, Jamie look I just wanted you to know that I never met to

accuse you of steeling my mom's purse, I said.”

, It's cool, anything else you want to tell me, asked Jamie.”

, no that was about it. Although I have another question I

would like to ask you, I replied.”

, okay go ahead, Jamie said.”

, I just wanted to know if we were still friends or not, I

asked in fear.”

, what kind of a stupid question is that, Jamie replied.”

, I don't know. It's just the way you walked off earlier made

me think that we might not be friends after what I accused you

of doing.”

, look dude everything is cool between us. No harm no foul

okay so lets just drop it and forget about it.”

Jamie and I hung up after talking on the phone for over an

hour and a half. I felt good about our little talk that we had.

I was glad I still had a friend after my mom had accused him of

steeling her purse from the family room chair. I started

surfing the net looking for a place where I could put my mom so

she could get the help that she needed. I love my mom and

everything but I can't provide her with the kind of care that

she needs like some of the old age homes can give her.

I wrote down 5 phone numbers of place's that looked really

nice and that my mom might want to go and have a tour of. I

knew what my mom would say if I told her I was thinking about

putting her in a home that she would stop her games. However I

know from the last time I tried putting in to a home she told

me the same thing and she never did stop her mind games.
I woke up and hoped in the shower before heading down

stair's to start making breakfast. While I was in the shower

all that I could smell was bacon cooking. At first I thought it

might be coming from next store, and then I heard mom call up

the stairs to let me know she had made breakfast. I have to

admit that I was a bit scared of the thought my mom cooking

breakfast with her advance stages of Alzheimer's.

I quickly got dressed and ran down stairs. I walked in to

the kitchen, there sitting on the table was a plate with 2 eggs

and 4 pieces of bacon and toast and a glass of orange juice.

, mom this looks really good, I said.”

, thank you Alex, my mom replied.”

, Umm mom I'am Tony, I said.”

, what ever you say Alex. Just eat your food dear, mom said.”

, mom that was really good.”

I went back up to my room to make a few phone calls to

several different place's to find out how long their waiting

list's were. One place told me that their waiting list was only

3 months long and another place told me that my mom could move

in as soon as the weekend. I arrange for a couple tour's so my

mom and I could go check these place's out. All I really cared

about was that my mom got the proper treatment she needed.

I came back down stiair's and my mom was sitting on the

couch reading a book while the kitchen sink was over flowing. I

quickly turned the taps off and went in to the living room

where my mom was sitting reading her book.

, hey Ma, I said.”

, who are you, she replied.”

, I'am Tony your son remember me from just a few minutes ago.”

, are you here to see my daughter, my mom said.”

, mom you don't have daughter, I said.”

One of the hardest thing's for me was seeing my mom in this

condition. At one point my mom was consitered to be one of the

smartest people in our city. But now she's just a shadow of her

former self. By far this was one of her worst days she has had

in a long time. Luckly for me these kinds of days have been far

and few in between.

, Hay mom let's go for a little car ride, I said.”

, Okay dear. Do you think you can drop me off at my daughter's

house, my mom said.”

If I didn't know any better, I would say that looking after

my mom and everything that I have had to go through, has lead

me to want to rob a bank even more then ever. So you might be

asking your self what has been keeping from doing it then. Well

for starters my mom's Alzheimer's. Secondly Jamie and I don't

have the slightest clue of how to exacly rob the bank.

I ran up stairs and grabbed my keys and my wallet while my

mom was looking for her purse which I had placed on the chair

in the family room.

, mom I'am just going to make a quick phone call, then we will

be on our way, I said.”

, Hello, Jamie answered.”

, dude it's Tony, let's put our plan in to action tomorrow

morning, I said.”

, Are you crazy man, what about your mom, Jamie asked.”

, don't worry about her, she'll be in a home by the end of

the day.”

I walked back in to the hallway where mom was waiting for

me to unlock the front door. My mom always thought that I was

being way over protective when it came to making sure she

couldn't leave the house with out me. I had a double key lock

put in after mom wandered off while I was at work.

, okay let me just unlcok the door and we will be on our way.”

, alright, my mom said.”

, Oh no someone stole all my money Tony.”

, mom nobody stole your money. I have your cash in my wallet,

I replied.”

, why did you steel my money for. Your a bad man, mom said.”

I could hardly wait until I could leave my mom at one of

the two homes we were going to take a look at. The one home was

willing to take mom of my hand's as long I was willing to pay

the admitance fee to have her stay there. Believe me I was

really thinking about just paying that fee over the phone.

, where are we going sir, mom asked.”

, we are going to take a look at a few different place's mom.”

, Are we you moving out on me sir, mom asked.”

, no mom I'am not moving out, just going to have a look at a

few place's, I said.”

That afternoon My mom and I checked out a bunch of

different place's. All had something to offer my mom, like

bingo and and other activities. The one place that really stuck

out in my mind was RiverDale nursing home who had one of the

best ratings for dealing with people who had advance

alzheimer's. Through out our visits my mom would flip back and

fourth between calling me Alex and asking if I was going to

take her to visit her daughter at some point.

I sent my mom with one of the nurse's so she could see

what a room would look like. The room that I was planing on

getting mom was like a little apartment it had a small kitchen

and a bathroom and a bedroom.

, I'll take it, my mom said in a heart beat.”

The nurse and my mom returned a few minutes later.

, Alex pay the nice lady for the room at the end of the

hallway, my mom said.”

, okay mom, but once I pay for your mom there is no changing

your mind this time, I replied.”

, Alex just pay the lady, and get out of hair, my mom said

with a tone.”

, how much was that room again, I asked.”

, give me one second, I'll just look that up for you, said the


, Mom while the nurse look's up what your room is going to

cost a month, I'm going to go take a look at your room, I


, Okay Tony, mom replied.”

The room that mom had picked out was vary nice and had a

lot of space. It almost looked like our living room back at 

the house. The bedroom was a little small but you could still 

fit a queen size bed in there along with a dresser. One of the

nurse's walked in to the room while I was looking around and

told me that the room would coast mom around $1,300 dollars a


I headed back up to the admissions desk to pay mom's first

and last months rent for her room.

, And that's going to be on your creadit card, asked the


, Excuse me miss, when can I move in, asked my mom.”

, well you can move in today or you can move in on the weekend

, replied the nurse.”

Mom moved in the same day I had paid for her first and last

months rent. Spent most of the day with her as she unpacked 

her belongings and put thing's away. After mom was all 

unpacked treated her out to dinner in the dinning room 

which was on the  next floor. After dinner I walked my mom 

back to her room, then started getting my self ready to 

leave. never thought it would be this hard.

, okay mom I'm going to take off, you have a good night, I

said fighting back tears.”

, okay Tony. Will I see you tomorrow.”

, no mom I have somethings I wanna do tomorrow.”

, ok you take care of your self Alex, bye bye now.”

, alright mom bye.”
Jamie and I head over to the bank and we sat in the parking

lot with all of our stuff that we were going to use to rob the

bank. Jamie looked at me and I looked back him like we each

knew the other didn't want to go through with the plan.

, Dude you don't want to go through with this do you, asked


, not really. How about yourself, I asked.”

, nope, not really up for robbing a bank today, Jamie


I backed the car up out of the banks parking lot, and drove

off down the street to where mom was now living. Jamie and I

went inside and paid mom a visit. Jamie and I never revisited

our plan to rob the bank.
3 years after mom moved in to the nursing home, she had

sucome to her battle with Alzheimer's. Mom died quitly in her

sleep the night before. I later burried mom with dad as she

requested in her will. Not long after I moved out of moms 

house. I'm now the exacutive bank manager of the same bank 

Jamie and I once thought about robbing.

Thursday, 23 March 2017

Josh & Cody Brawl

, Alright let's start from the beginning shell we, Principle

Mike Hopkins said.”

, I was standing over the gym door's when Cody came up behind

me and punched me, I said.”

, What ever Josh, you know that's not true, Cody replied.”

, Hey keep quiet Josh, Mike said slamming his hand on his


, but sir, Cody lying to you, like he always does, Josh said.”

, Why don't you let me decide that for myself, hows that

sound, Mike said.”

One of the longest days of life took place in Principle

Mike Hopkins office, has Cody and I sat there arguing over who

started a fight on the playground 3 months ago. I don't

remember much about the fight. But from what I heard in the

halls, is that I took one hell of beating at the hands of Cody

and his 2 other friends.

All I know is that the fight some how got started when one

of Cody's friends told Cody that I was screwing around with his

girlfriend and one thing lead to another and a fight broke out

during gym class on the playground. I hate to say it but Cody

has poor taste in girls. I don't know how anyone could find

such a fugly looking girl, who had been beaten with an ugly

stick more then once in her life time.

, Last time I'm telling you to be quiet Josh, Mike replied

pointing his finger at me.”

, continue Cody, Principle Mike said.”

, One of my friends came up to me during the afternoon break

and told me that Josh had been making move's on my girlfriend,

so I went up to Josh to ask him about it, Cody said.”

, Nice lie asshole, I said.”

,You wanna go right now Josh, because you know I'll kick your

ass again, Cody said kicking his chair.”

, come on asshole let's go right now, oh wait your loser

friends aren't here to help your fugly ass out again, I replied

pushing my chair.”

Needless to say nothing got resolved that afternoon in

Mike's office. I walked out the front doors of the school and

headed for the parking lot where my dad was waiting for me. At

one point my principle and my dad even got in to a fight back

when they where kids. Too this vary day they still don't like

one another all that much.

Cody came running out of the gym door's, as he tried to cut

me off from getting to the parking lot.


, MAKE ME!, Cody replied.”

I started to clinch my fist, just as my dad and principle

Mike came walking out of the parking lot. Cody and I where

right in each other face. We stared at each other for a few

seconds then Cody started backing away.

, YAH! Walk away like a little pussy, I said.”

, what did you just call me, Cody replied.”

, you fucking heard me, your a pussy, just like your

girlfriend is, I repeated.”

, Make me, Cody said.”

Cody took one swing just missing the side of my face. I

then swung back at Cody connecting right in his jaw breaking it

in 2 spots. Cody drooped to the ground like a load of bricks

falling off the back of a pick up truck. I stood over Cody

yelling at him to get up.

, come on tough guy get up and fight me, I said ripping his

jacket off.”

, Josh knock it off, and get your ass in the car now, my dad

yelled out.”

Just before I let go of Cody, I made sure I got one last

shot in on him while he was down, just to make a point. I gave

Cody one good kick in the ribs just to add insult to injury. As

I walked to the car which was parked just at the entrance of

the teacher's parking lot, I notice Cody's fugly girlfriend

giving me the stink eye.

, YOUR NEXT BITCH, I yelled.”

, SHUT THE FUCK UP JOSH, Kristen shouted back.”

, BITE ME WHORE, I yelled back.”

I got in to my dad's car and sat in the front seat looking

straight ahead. My dad's body language spoke loud and clear,

that he was pissed off with me.

, Wanna explain all that bull shit to me Josh, my dad said.”

, NO! Not really, I replied.”

, that's fine then, consider your ass grounded for the next 3

months. Also your computer and cell phone are also gone, do I

make myself clear, my dad said smacking the steering wheel.”

, what the fuck dude, I need my computer and cell phone for my

home work dad, come on.”

, Next time you'll think before you do something as stupid as

fighting on school grounds, my dad said.”

The car ride home was anything but quiet, my dad and I

where having it out. This was not normal for my dad and I we

hardly ever fought with each other. Most of the time I would

always fight with my step mom who also was a real bitch and

still is to this day. Granted that she royally fucked my dad

over in so many ways it wasn't funny. But that's besides the

point. My dad clearly angry with me and the fact that I would

get in to 3 fights with the same kid. That was fine with me but

honestly it took Cody and his 2 friends to beat me up. I only

needed a left hook and a solid right kick to Cody's rib cage to

prove I could kick Cody's ass.

, dad all I'm saying is that it took 3 guys to beat the shit

outta me, where it only took one left hook and a good swift

kick the rib cage to knock out that dumb fuck, I said.”

, Josh just stop. Nothing you say will get your computer back

or your cell phone back and your ass is still grounded for 3


I slammed the car behind me and walked in to the house. I

went right to my room and slammed the door. I laid on my bed

staring up at my ceiling. There was knock on my bedroom door, I

put my head phones on so I couldn't hear who ever was knocking

at my door. The door opened and my step mom walked in to room,

I just laid there looking at my ceiling.

, Hey Josh, can we talk for a bit, she asked.”

, knock your self out, but don't expect me to listen to your

ass, I replied.”

, Look Josh, I know you don't like me and I can respect that.

All I'm trying to do is help you.”

, how are you helping my ass. Your ripping us off by pwning

all of our stuff plus you sold my moms jewelry for fuck sake's,

I replied.”

, okay yes I screwed up, but that doesn't mean you can treat

me like shit Josh, Kim said.”

, Sorry I don't much care for people who think they can just

sale someone else personal belonging's to whom ever they

please, I said slamming my fist on my bed.”

, Well I'm sorry you feel that way about me Josh, I really am,

Kim said as she walked out of the room.”

I just laid in my bed, even more angry then I was when I

got home. The fact that my step mom thought that some how she

could just come in to my bedroom and cheer me up, boy was she

wrong. I got up and went down stair's I needed some air. My dad

made it a point to remind me that I was grounded and couldn't

hang out with any of my friends. As far as I was concerned I

had no friends.

I heard Kim say something as I walked out the front door

and sat on the front step. The door opened and sure enough my

step mom from hell walked out and stood behind me, breathing

down the back of my neck.

, What the fuck do you want now, I said.”

, Can you please stop swearing, it really bothers me

that you talk to me like I'm trash.”

, Don't see how that's my problem, I'm not that who fucked

their boss, I replied.”

, Alright I admit it Josh, I'm nothing more then a slut, does

that make you feel better, Kim said.”

, Jesus Christ Kim leave me the fuck alone, is that asking to

much to ask, I yelled.”

I got up and went back inside the house. My dad was

standing in the kitchen door way when I came storming in the

house. I looked at my dad and just shook my head, then went

back up to my room with out saying a word to him. I could hear

my dad asking Kim what in the hell was going on. Kim told my

dad that she was only trying to have a friendly conversation

with me on the front porch.

, Kim why can't you leave Josh a lone when he is in a bad

mood, why, my dad asked.”

, Because maybe I care about Josh just as much as you do and I

wanna have a relationship with him, but he keeps pushing me

away, Kim said.”

, I know you do, I know you do, my dad replied.”

For what it was worth, I had to give Kim credit for trying

to talk to me about everything that was going on between me and

that Jack ass Cody. I was laying on my bed just staring up at

the ceiling when all of a sudden I thought to myself maybe Kim

is the one person I can get to understand what's really going

down between Cody and I. After all Cody and I did hide our gay

relationship from everyone. Now Cody and I just wanted to rip

each others thought's out.

I got up off my bed and walked towards my bedroom door. I

stopped myself from opening it. I stood there for a minute or

two with my back ageist the door. As I stood there I could hear

footsteps coming up the stairs. They stopped short of my

bedroom door. I kept my ear as close to my door as I could get

it. I knew by the sound of the foot steps who they belong to

and there was no way I was going to let Cody get the jump on me

I was good and ready for him. I reached over and grabbed my

baseball bat and held it in my left hand as I opened my bedroom


, What the fuck are you doing in my house Cody,I asked.”

, I just wanna talk man to man, Cody replied.”

, yeah right, I'm not that stupid Cody, put down your led pipe

and then maybe I'll come out and talk to you, I said.”

, Josh I'm unarmed trust me, just come out of your room and

let's talk, Cody said.”

, Okay go wait on the landing for me, I said.”

, Come on Josh stop wasting time, just come out of your room

please I'm begging you man to man, Cody replied.”

I opened my bedroom door just a crack and looked out in the

both directions to make sure Cody wasn't trying to get me to

fall in to one of his traps. I turned and looked towards the

landing where Cody was standing.

, What the fuck do you want Cody, I said.”

, I just wanna work things out with you I'm tired of fighting

all the time, Cody said.”

, Then why don't you start talking instead of just standing

there looking like a pathetic Jack ass, I replied.”

, Can we talk in your bedroom Josh, Cody said.”

, What ever it is you have to say you can say it right here in

the hallway, I replied.”

,I'd rather not say what I have to say right here, where our

parents could hear, Cody said.”

I let out a deep breath then looked at Cody.

, okay but you better make this quick because right now I just

wanna beat the living day light's out of you, I said.”

We walked in to my room. I have to admit I really wanted to

beat Cody over the head with my baseball bat. AS much as I

wanted to do this act of murder to Cody, I heard this little

voice in my head saying just hear him out. The other little

voice in my head said if you like what Cody says then just slam

the baseball bat over his head.

, Okay talk, I said crossing my arms.”

, look Josh I don't want to fight anymore I just wanna be able to move on with my life, Cody said.”

, So then why start shit that you can't finish Cody, I asked.”

, I always finish what I start Josh you know that, Cody


, Is that why you need your buddy's to help knock my ass out,

I said.”

, Those guys are not my buddy's and for your information they

jumped in on our fight, Cody said.”

, Sure they did, I replied.”

Cody let out a deep breath and just looked at me like he

wasn't getting any where. I looked back at him with a dirty

look. I had so many different thoughts running through my mind

of how I could hurt Cody really badly to the point that he

would never be able to walk again, or at least close to it.

, Alright I see we are never going to be able to work this

problem out between us. Maybe I should just go, Cody said.”

, Where the fuck do you think your going, I said.”

, I'm leavening, your not interested in talking to me, Cody


, No your not, your going to sit the fuck down and your going

to listen to me now, I said pointing to my desk chair.”

Cody stopped just in between the door and the hallway. He

stood there for a moment or two just looking at the stair case.

Cody came back in to my room and closed the door behind him.

He walked slowly over to my desk and sat down in the chair.

, what do you want to say, Cody said with a wispy voice.”

, All I want to say is that all this fighting we have been

doing and trying to rip each other apart is not getting us

anywhere. So what I'm thinking is maybe we just stay away from

each other from now on, maybe one day we could be friends again
, Cody said.”

, SO what are you saying Cody, your giving up, I asked.”

, basically I'm not going to fight you anymore and I just want

all these hard feeling's that we have for one another to just

go away, Cody replied.”
In all honesty what Cody offered actually made a lot of

senses and I quickly realized that I was in favor of his idea.

That night Cody and I shook hands. Cody turned and walked out

of bedroom with out saying a word. I stood there and watch as

Cody and his dad left. Cody made no eye contact has he walked

out the front door. For the first time in my life I had lost a

friend that I once respected. Now I wouldn't even give Cody the

shirt off my back if he beg me for it.

Thing's got a lot better at school and with Cody getting

transferred to another school, there was a more relaxed

feeling and I started to like school again.